SamuraiBlog.com

I’ve been asking people if they’ve heard of this music yet and I’m fucking surprised so few people are on the up-and-up. Slightly Stoopid, fucking awesome shit!!!

Their MySpace page (more usable than their actual website, it’s that bad, but there’s more music, CD information and stuff all in once place). The music I’ve posted is from their very early album, Acoustic Roots and Live in 2001. Their newer albums have become very sophisticated and include brass and many different percussive approaches, and the music-is generally on the pop end of the spectrum of reggae music with a very heavy blues influence though newer albums (especially Chronchritis) feel almost Reel-Big-Fish-inspired.

iPhones. I hate iPhones. I hate typing the word, hearing it spoke and seeing it in headlines.

But I live in San Francisco, and hating iPhones in San Francisco is like hating faux-fur-bootie wearing hussies: they’re everywhere.  The city is swamped in flick-happy pretentious fucks, and their faux-fur-bootie-wearing hussie girlfriends, who also have iPhones. So I generally keep to myself on the issue, but I have a blog now!

The problem with iPhones is this: They inspire this giddy sense of entitlement. The very fact that people are carrying around a $600 phone allows someone to believe they can pick it up and happily “flick” the interface with a bright outwards inclination. All that is required to operate the interface is a mere swipe, a motion of your finger and nothing else, like someone may do with a similarly-equipped, but not-as-expensive and not-made-by-Apple device. However, you don’t operate iPhones by “moving your finger” you have to tap and flick through.

Your finger, simply by using an iPhone, gains one half inch of lift toward the end of your swipe, or movement, and secures your ass in iPhone ownership. The finger continues beyond the border of the device approximately an inch and your flick is complete. Now, because you have no album covers, yet you insist on browsing your library of music that way, another 10-20 flicks in various directions is required before you can put your phone back in your messenger bag…

Hop off the bus…

And put on that prestigious Starbucks apron.

Dear tourists of San Francisco. I saw you walking by the Cafe Bean shortly after 4:20 PM  on December 07, 2007. At the time I saw you, I was leaning out the window to release a particularly large lung-full of Strawberry Cough, with a small, smoldering hand pipe and lighter in my left hand.  Out of the two of you, the one with Sunglasses noticed my position and activities first. Despite you wearing sunglasses, I noticed due to the crook of your head your awareness of the situation.

I returned gaze and held it without shame, partially out of curiosity, to see how long it would take you to get uncomfortable. Not long, it seemed, until you pointed me, my activities and my gaze out to your friend, who then also partook in contemplating this spectacle that I had become, a piece of San Francisco landscape. Now, I am both not offended at you looking, and not ashamed of my actions. So as you took your sunglasses from your forehead to get a clearer picture, I smiled and and waved an unabashed peace sign in your direction.

Two men on the sidewalk: I do not know why this seemed to offend you. Obviously, from my apartment window, I couldn’t get a clear grip on your conversation, nor do I pretend to know your background or opinions of people like myself. Though I still do not fret. Perhaps some day toward the end of your life, you will look upon this moment and learn to appreciate it, and hopefully smile, at that fucking long-haired hippy on Sutter & Jones.

I sit upon a perch, in San Francisco. Directly on the corner of Jones and Sutter on the 2nd floor. Excellent people watching spot.  From here I can observe the absurdity of the kids at hut SF (skate shop focused on really expensive wigger clothing), their habits, interaction with people (like watching a silent movie, or at least a movie turned down so you only hear the loud parts, perhaps a poor-white-boy version of an alternate-universe Eddie Murphy flick), and their ridiculous attention to personal  apperance. The homeless. One man who sings, one man who habitually snipes cigarettes and jacks peoples bus fares (and many more). The Sutter ST homeless are largely not aggressive so it’s usually a good viewing experience (watching how people handle themselves around the homeless).

Anyway, I find people watching interesting. It’s got to be why coffee shops always are placed corner-side instead of more droll places, such as in the middle of a block.

Californians. Anyone who’s read my blog for any length of time, or read through the archives, knows that I am not shy to the idea of stereotypes. Stereotypes are real, and I happen to love obsessing over them from time to time.

There is one stereotype that I did not understand until recently. The Californian.

The Californian does not have an opinion, except hating the current US Administration, but all Californians have that opinion, and that’s what makes it a stereotype.

I find that whenever I have to interact with these folks, opinions are not taken lightly too. Californians think people with opinions are “opinionated.” Oh shit, they chose a side.

There is logic to their madness. Maybe. Without an opinion, what will you argue over? Nothing, and I believe that’s the point.  If I point out “dem dere wiggers ovar dar!” a Californian will disregard your observation, or perhaps pussy foot around it with their own, extremely tamed version. I don’t know how they do this because I hand-picked this example. Wiggers are a subset of rich white boy culture that has latched onto an un-attainably cool black hip-hop culture and re-appropriated it into $200 t-shirts with Tupoc’s face on it and shorts that are 2 inches shy of pants. They dress in the brightest clothes, the most over-sized clothes, and won’t be caught dead without their hat and shoes in perfect color-coordination. They are provide a nearly undeniable existence. Californians know they exist, they just won’t admit it.

Another example, hussies. San Francisco is packed to the roof with hussies. But I’ve yet to hear the word spoken here, and I unashamedly listen in on conversations if I can hear em.

So, why? I guess they just don’t want to make a rift. Californians are largely satisfied with their liberal state and city-level governments. Marijuana is practically legal here and can be had by a selection of delivery services. The police leave you alone, and, like I said, the government is already filled brim-full with liberals, so what do they have to complain about? Living here all your life, I can see someone becoming a very passive individual, a Californian.

And that concludes my first rant since replacing this blog. Jesus titty-fucking Christ, it took one [post].

Recently I tried to use Facebook to re-connect with a few friends from Montana since the SamuraiBlog community site became defunct.

For fucks sake.

It’s like Larry the Cable guy designed an interface to an application that tries to encompass the lives of our Banana-Republic-shopping, Crocs-wearing public.  Thanks, assholes, but I’ll use a real website. Even though it’s not the epic mess that MySpace ended up as once website-”personalization” became accessible to the yahoo-toolbar-sporting masses, people take their sites way too fucking seriously, investing countless hours doing absolutely nothing. And why does it take them countless hours? Tools. Well, we knew that, but the interface to Facebook is fucking insane. It takes an entire afternoon to set up a facebook account when it should take TEN MINUTES. How about something like 1) name and age 2) add friends. What the fuck!? How the fuck hard is that!

I digress. So I have this domain. SamuraiBlog.com. Been around since my freshman year of high school. Holy shit.

The SamuraiBlog.com community has long since evaporated into life, and Facebook.

The domain SamuraiBlog.com is not going anywhere (I have virtually unlimited SSH-encrypted bandwidth through Dreamhost).  So any wireless I jump on in SF, I don’t have to worry about using passwords on websites and shit. The domain will just be used as my personal blog, portfolio and to link to SamuraiFilms (nothing new for a while, you just wait!).

Recently I was given the opportunity to cook a nice meal for my mom on her birthday. Tonight I realized I haven’t blogged in a long time and decided it’d be nice to share with SamuraiBlog how to make this relatively simple meal that should impress relatives, significant others and your dog. I didn’t, unfortunately, have the chance to make this into a 5-10 minute cooking show, however I hope the simplicity of this recipe will be conducive to merely a blog post.

The amounts given in this recipe serve approximately 6 people. I was serving only 4 but, as you’ll see, the left-overs can be brilliantly used within a weeks time without any waste.

The meal consists of two main dishes. The combination of dishes, if Martha Stewert were here (and thank god for us all she isn’t), could be described as a great meal for spring as it consists entirely of fresh ingredients (actual logic flawed). The first dish is a Raspberry Vinaigrette Salad of a specific variety followed with a Special Shish Kabob (we’ll find out how special in a minute).

Prep (time 10-15 minutes)
First of all it’s ideal to work with entirely fresh ingredients.
For your salad:

1. Take your greens of choice. In my opinion this salad works best with spinach leaves and purple cabbage. This combination provides for a nice color and texture as well as taste to match the vinaigrette dressing, however not all people like the taste of spinach or cabbage and therefore it would be best to use perhaps regular iceberg lettuce and ranch (they get what they deserve).Anyway, chop the stems off off of about a bundle of spinach. Take 1/2 head of purple cabbage, core it, take the good parts (the tasty inner bits) and break it up. You want bite-size pieces as cabbage can be somewhat brittle.
2. Other ingredients can be added to your liking. I chose several handfuls of snow peas, avocado and bean sprouts. For this combination (which turned out really well) break the peas up and put aside for a moment; core, skin and chop your avocado.
3. The last step is just to make sure you have your favorite Raspberry Vinaigrette and (this one is important) Feta Cheese.

What you put on your Shish Kabobs is really up to you, but here is a great combination:

• Shrimp (1.5lb)
• Scallops (1lb)
• Red+Green+Yellow Peppers (chopped to the size of your shrimp) (2 each, cored)
• Red Onion (also chopped to same size as peppers) (1 whole, cored)
• Those sweat little tomatoes (a bundle or 2 large handfuls)
• Mushrooms (absolute must!) Get the better, darker-colored kind, preferably the size of the tomatoes (two bundles or 4 large handfuls)

Cooking (also 10-15 minutes)

One of the nice things about salads is they’re already cooked (actually no cooking involved, in most cases)! Simply make sure all the ingredients are clean and start assembling. Remember that those quantities serve 6 people. If you’re serving less but have the amounts I prescribed above, save it for later! Salads are extremely healthy and taste great!

Each salad should have:

• About 1/2 handful of cabbage
• About 1 handful of spinach
• 20ish halved snow peas
• A few fingers of sprouts

Put this combination on a plate and sprinkle liberal amounts of feta cheese on top, followed with the desired (everyone is different) amount of Raspberry Vinaigrette, (usually 3-4 tablespoons for a salad this size).

How to do Shish Kabobs the Right Way
I’ve been told all my life shish kabobs are to be put together rather conservatively. That there should be space between the bits is an absurd idea! Shish kabobs ideally combine all the flavors used and each ingredient should taste great together. With all of your ingredients (at the amounts outlined above) you should have nearly 10-15 packed shish kabobs. With your shish kabobs packed this way (and especially with such varying ingredients) you simply have to cook them slower and more carefully than normal shish kabobs.

To do this correctly, follow this directions:

1. Get your grille real hot. This can be any grille, I have a gas one.
2. Grease up the grille with Crisco or some other vegetable grease (I have store-brand kind). The idea is to just lube the rungs of the grille so your bare shish kabobs don’t get stuck.
3. Get your grille burning as low as it goes. We want to cook slow.
4. Place your shish kabobs on your grille. After this rotate 180 degrees approximately every 3-4 minutes for 4 times.
5. Add Old-Bay/Creole seasoning on either side (I used Old-bay on the first side, Creole on the second)
6. Between rotations (2nd and 3rd) melt some butter, a bit of salt, pepper and 1-2 tablespoons of brown sugar in the microwave. There should be enough to cover everything once. Take a brush and brush this solution over everything, taking special attention to mushrooms and scallops.
7. When cooking both shrimp and scallops on the same shish kabob, we have to be very careful about cooking. The scallops will be done when they are almost ready to fall off the stick. Everything else, if cooked slowly enough, should be done at this point. Take everything off now!

Enjoy that shit!

BONUS: Most people will not be able to eat all the shish kabobs. There is a method to this, however. If you really want to score some points with your relatives, significant other, dog(?), make omelets the next morning using ingredients from your shish kabobs. The insides will already be cooked. For extra extra points pour a hollandaise sauce over top with some of your favorite, finely grated cheese.

-Sam

Digg has added a cool new podcast feature that allows it to digest podcast feeds and submit them all for people to digg.

SamuraiFilms on Digg!

-Sam

Every time I look at the code that comprises the mega-widespread blogging app, Wordpress, I can't help but wonder; if "code is poetry" (Auttomatic's slogan), then the Wordpress developers' must be a group of pre-pubescent emo girls, searching for themselves through poetry with barely a passing grade in English. Perhaps with bulimia and maybe a drug abuse problem.

And AIDS.

Now, before I get into examples, I need to point out that I don't have a single problem with the Wordpress developers themselves. They're obviously great people; their software is all open source, including their multi-user branch which powers the popular wordpress.com. That's GREAT; the only thing I could ask would be for more companies to follow in suit.

Wordpress is a web application that is built using PHP, MySQL (no SQLite or PostgreSQL) and Apache. It seems to work on any operating system that has, at minimum, those components. As for the app itself: the interface design is decent and the installation is easy. The code is horrible, though. Let me try to communicate how agonizing it is for someone who's used to beautifully architected programming languages and their frameworks to work with this code.

1. It's standard fare to see three (sometimes a lot more) global variables accessed at the top of any given function definition.
2. Use of object-orientation is out of place and inconsistent. classes.php
3. Code duplication is insane. template-loader.php
4. There is absolutely no separation of data and logic.
5. Theming, while supported, is inaccessible to anyone without a, at minimum, a passing knowledge of PHP unless you can accomplish your theme with simply modifying the CSS. Just take a look at this mess: comments.php or even, what should be the easiest to modify template, index.php.

All of these flaws compound into a pile of code that exemplifies why "serious" developers have a difficult time taking PHP as a language seriously. I've only scratched the surface and haven't even compared it to other apps. It seems that when the Wordpress developers started out, they were fairly new to programming and therefore are afforded many design flaws. I understand this because I still make these errors (everyone does!). Except, in Wordpress' case, they never reviewed, re-factored or even asked themselves, "does this make sense?" and kept using and building upon their first lines of code (kind of like Windows XP). It would do them good to pick up a design patterns book or take a CS course and re-write the entire thing.

The fact of the matter, though, is that Wordpress, for lazy people like me, is that it is simple and it is easy to use. It isn't easy to extend and isn't simple to theme. But who cares about that? I venture to guess that most people using a "one-click" install on their web host or who'r using wordpress.com don't really give a damn. And why should they? It works. Same goes for PHPbb or many other stale open source code-bases. Still, if I had enough motivation to write a competing blogging app using PHP 5 with excellent separation of logic, presentation and data, with a templating language, plugin support… the whole 10 (yes, 10) yards, I don't see it gaining any ground. Wordpress is here to stay, whether we like it or not.

-Sam

If you read this blog, you probably know that I get a little angry over political stuff every now-and-again. I might jab at an evangelist (perhaps tear them a residual new one) or question motives and true morals of political talking heads who run our country today. The reason I'm writing to this blog entry right now, however, is of a more introverted importance. I recently have realized that as I become busier in more business and personal aspects of life, politics and worldly matters occupy of my time, taking a back seat to what is arguably more interesting to engross yourself with. It is for this reason that I am ashamed.

The way I envision most American citizens political lives falls into three categories. A) Incumbently ignorant; trivial stuff occupies this persons mind throughout their life span. B) Sheeple; people who have a party line and vote it, they want people to think they care but never-the-less, they don't. C) Other; these are the activists, independents and other people who give a fuck. As you can imagine, and back to the introversion-themed entry, I fall into C. Note that I am not a political scientist and I have no certifications on the matter.

The reason I decided to write this entry tonight is because I felt my world-view blurring. I have been working very hard on a project for the past few weeks and no doubt, chronologically, updates for that project will surround this entry by two to three entries. When one involves themselves deeply in a project as I have, especially if it consumes every bit of free time, one's perception on reality begins to slip. It's not just politics either–social functions begin to deteriorate. I have found myself talking to people less, even though I've been around them in the same dosages as before. I recall reading somewhere confirming a condition people can develop by involving themselves in an all-consuming project or job. Reportedly people who leave work at Apple, Google and Microsoft develop symptoms of it and claim their past workplace an "addiction." It happens to grad students and post college students going into their first real job.

If these bright minds are susceptible to reacting this way… does this not leave the rest of the incumbently ignorant America to incredibly vulnerable to similar distractions. For example, many people are "addicted" to anime, MySpace or MMORPGs. They become consumed and separated from the rest of the world. Normal people can be consumed by their normal jobs. I think the most important issue here is balance. People tend to be terrible at balancing their lives. You *can* have too much social interaction, and you *can* have too little. You are *obligated* to be active in politics but unless it's your job, you *can* be too active. The same applies elsewhere.

-Sam